I haven’t had access to my Instagram password in a very long time. It’s been almost eight years since I did anything fun like share poetry comparing Donald Trump to an abusive father, tag my ex in a post about baby names or accidentally screenshot Jemima’s number, post it in stories and then promptly take a nap. (For the record, she answered all the calls and actually sort of enjoyed it.)
It became clear at a certain point that my life needed to involve some guard rails and sobriety was not the end game, but rather the beginning of understanding the benefit of limits, which you can read more about in Famesick. There are substances we don’t put in this body. There is an amount of money we don’t spend on a hand bag. And there is no reason that someone with a lot of errant thoughts, frantic feelings and an erratic sleep pattern should have 24/7 access to the world of social media.
I have experimented with different ways of doing it, but ultimately I’ve spent the last half a decade in a really beautiful creative relationship with someone who has become, in many ways, a surprising and sacred brain twin. The woman behind my Instagram doesn’t just proofread and post my thoughts willie nilly- she is a collaborator, someone with whom I am in a constant dialogue. Because I don’t see what’s happening in real time the way a person who is always scrolling does (no holier-than-thou judgment on scrolling, but I don’t even have a lurker finsta, and for my mental health that’s just how it must be.) She takes the temperature and a lot of culture is reported back to me by her highly specific curatorial mind. She helps me take loose ideas and form a coherent message, consider the way words and images coalesce, and express myself in a medium that I may have been, shall we say, *active* in, but was also a medium as unnatural to me as a seventh grade sleepover (if you were the kid who hid in the bathroom while other girls were hooking up, shaking with fear, then told them all about oral herpes and called your mom, well… you will understand.)
She is an editor, a journalist reporting live from the front lines, helping me share my work and continue to talk about things that matter to me while also protecting me- yes, from the big wide world but also from myself. To quote Jenny Holzer:
I know that a “social media manager” is a true luxury. For me personally, it makes a lot of sense from a business perspective- from what I understand, having directed one single episode of Industry and therefore being an expert in finances, a good investment is something that offers returns. This offers returns on my time, on my ability to focus and on my creativity, which are ultimately the keys to my being able to write. It’s also a good expense from a personal perspective, somewhere between therapy and a great insurance plan. I have heard from other artists about the ways that they mediate their dynamic with social media, in an age when we are not only responsible for making work but also marketing it and, ergo, ourselves. It often feels like in addition to our area of expertise, we are also supposed to be branding experts. I watch Gen Z girls coming up in Hollywood and see how conscious they are of how to work with and against the internet, how they have been media trained just by being raised interacting with the web. It both impresses and scares me- I have all the wildness and id of someone raised in the age of Livejournal, who discovered Twitter because some funny film guys I knew used to post their lunch orders every day. Things have… changed.
For a long time, I would mention that there was a woman behind my web presence but I couldn’t say her name- she’s had various other jobs, other incarnations and reasons to keep it on the DL.
But now, in the year of our lord 2026, I can finally and proudly say that she is Dolly Meckler, the often viral genius behind Challah Dolly, the best wedding dress ever to grace the internet and some of the sweetest NYC bus interactions recorded. She’s made gold-plated challah jewelry (and actual challah- she once literally FaceTimed in for a meeting from a bread factory) and she has her own, absolutely delightful and deeply informative Substack. She’s stylish, brilliant, funny and kind. And I thought I’d take a moment to ask her some questions- not just about the work we do together, but about how she sees the World Wide Web, how artists and writers can use these tools for good and some of her favorite online moments and memories.
The one question I forgot to ask? Does she regret giving me my Substack password …
UNMASKING DOLLY MECKLER: The Woman Behind the Feed 💫
🎭 THE REVEAL
Okay, let’s start with the obvious: how does it feel to finally step out from behind my Instagram like the Wizard of Oz — glamorous, terrifying, overdue?
Above all else, I feel honored! It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to spotlight me like this. Working together has been a huge career highlight, and I feel like Team Dunham has made real waves together over the years. I take your voice and reputation very personally at this point, so any success your work has feels like a shared win. I’m grateful to be along for the ride.
How long have you been secretly running my Instagram while the world assumed I was just… posting shit?
Over five years now if you can believe it.
You have your own iconic feed- what’s the difference between being Dolly and playing other roles?
It starts with getting into the head of the person behind the account. Who are they? How do they speak? How do they move through the world? What are they known for, and who are they becoming? Once you understand that, the work is about translating that voice through a screen without distorting it.
That part is really important to me. I don’t like phoniness. People can sense it immediately, and it never lasts. Long-term success online comes from showing up in a way that actually feels true or real. If you’re trying to do something inauthentic, then what’s even the point? That’s a big similarity between the way I approach my own social and my clients’. When something feels insincere (to me or to the person I’m working with) it always flops. Share what feels right, don’t share what doesn’t.
📱 SOCIAL AS PSYCHOLOGICAL TERRAIN
You’ve worked with artists who love social media, fear it, resent it, or want to throw their phone into the sea. What do you think Instagram actually asks of a person emotionally?
In many ways, you get out what you put in. When you nurture a thoughtful, engaged community, you feel that care reflected back, and that inherently feels personal.
What I’ve always admired about you is your clarity around what you need help with. You know you don’t want to be online yourself, but you understand how important it is for your work. You enjoy building community, you just don’t want to be right up against the screen. Recognizing that social media wasn’t healthy for you, and putting someone between you and the platform, was a really wise decision. I think a lot of public figures would be in a better place if they adopted that mindset.
What’s the biggest misconception artists have about what makes an account “work”? Is social media truly necessary to having a career? For example some have it (Selena Gomez, most followed woman) some don’t (Greta Gerwig is doing just fine) and many are tortured by it or have taken ages to join (Jen Aniston is fairly new in town.) So what’s the deal?
Generally speaking, many people take social media way too seriously. It should feel fun! If it feels like constant labor, you either need to lighten up, get support, or get offline :)
Is it necessary for a career? Of course not. But we live in a visual, internet-first world. If you’re making something creative, people want a place to see it. Thinking of social media as a portfolio, rather than a performance, can be a helpful framework. A strong presence doesn’t require posting your face every day or sharing your private life. You can have visibility and privacy at the same time.
Is it possible to be good at Instagram without being chronically online — or is that a myth we tell ourselves to sleep at night?
Understanding the platform firsthand definitely helps. Social media is a lot of testing - trying things, observing reactions, adjusting. That’s easier if you’re immersed in it.
That said, being chronically online isn’t the same as having discernment. Plenty of people scroll all day and still don’t know what to do with a voice.
🧠 CARETAKER MODE
What does it mean to “caretake” someone’s online presence rather than just manage it?
I love that framing. “Managing” feels rigid and prescriptive. What we do is much more collaborative.
You have a very distinct voice and clear instincts, but you also know that feeling safe online requires editing, steering, and protection. That’s where I come in. At this point, I know you well enough to bring ideas to the table that I genuinely think will interest you. That trust and openness is what makes the collaboration work.
When I’m having a bad body day / bad brain day / it’s a bad world day, or we’ve had some weird noise- what are you thinking about before you post? Do you yourself have a tortured dynamic with your insta?
You have to read the room. If something major is happening in the world, or if you’re clearly not in a good headspace, audiences feel that immediately. “Off” energy translates online.
What tortures me most online is boundaries. I’m naturally open, but I’m very protective of the parts of my life that feel truly private like my family, my home, my closest friendships. The internet can be scary, and I take that seriously. Balancing openness with safety is something I’m constantly juggling.
Have you ever thought, “Nope, we are NOT posting today,” and saved me from myself? (I know the answer and it’s yes lol.)
Yes :)
You’re not living inside your account, so you’re not seeing it the way an outsider does. I have the benefit of understanding who you are privately and how you’re perceived publicly. Sometimes the smartest move is to pause, reframe, or wait. Especially when something could be misconstrued.
🎨 VOICE, TASTE & RESTRAINT
How do you protect an artist’s voice without flattening it into a brand? Or should it BE a brand?
We’re all a brand whether we want to be or not. We stand for things. We have patterns, tendencies, philosophies. Protecting a voice means leaning into what’s already there, not diluting it.
What’s the difference between authenticity and oversharing — and who decides?
It depends on the person. Authenticity means showing up as you would in real life. Oversharing is crossing a line you don’t feel good about. That line is personal, but when it’s crossed, people can feel it immediately.
What’s your philosophy on not posting? What should artists feel free to withhold? Lots of folks can’t handle a “your silence is deafening” moment:)
Share what you want. Don’t share what you don’t.
I love when Dolly Parton says, “I’m not in politics, I’m an entertainer.” She’s right. Not everyone needs to comment on everything. Silence is only deafening if you’ve trained people to expect noise.
🧨 THE HATE, THE NOISE, THE ALGORITHM
How do you decide when to engage, ignore, delete, or log off entirely? That goes for me, you, and anyone you manage.
Not everyone is going to like you. That’s part of being in the public eye.
I once told you that the Kardashians are masters of not explaining themselves. Whether people like them or not, they’re very good at not getting stuck defending every move. There’s something useful in that. Most of the time, engaging just gives things more oxygen. Knowing when to keep it moving is part of protecting your energy and work. Dwelling rarely helps.
Is there a healthy way to read comments, or should we all stop pretending? (And does it ever stress you out to sort through the darker ones I’ve gotten, since you ARE human.)
It can be depressing, but awareness matters. Public figures need to understand perception.
Your critics are not very creative. They repeat themselves, and we’ve heard it all before. At a certain point, you recognize patterns and stop internalizing them. The hardest moment for me was during your 11 Honoré collaboration in 2021. The cruel things people said about you really weighed on me. That experience taught me that appeasing everyone is impossible, and trying only causes harm.
What’s the most unhinged response you’ve seen to something completely benign?
Next question please :)
Does the algorithm reward chaos, consistency, sincerity — or something else entirely?
All of it. And it’s always changing. The only way to understand what works is to keep experimenting.
🌱 JOY, PLAY & SURVIVAL
You’ve seen social media make people miserable — but also genuinely joyful. What’s the difference?
Mindset. If you approach it with curiosity instead of fear, it can actually be fun.
What are your rules for keeping Instagram/social from becoming the boss of your life?
I try to stay present during the day, especially when I’m with people. Admittedly at night, I love to veg out and scroll on TikTok.
What kinds of posts still feel fun to you?
I love learning on social media, and I love world-building. A recent example is the La Famiglia Gucci campaign. It’s so immersive. You really feel like you’re stepping into Demna’s universe. I loved it so much that I went to see the clothes in person the day after they debuted this past September.
That kind of work really speaks to me because earlier in my career, I worked at HBO on shows like Game of Thrones and Westworld, where everything was about world-building (tone, copy, rules, details). Social media can do that too. When it’s done well, it takes “brand voice” to another level. It’s escapist in a way. It feels like my version of making a TV show or writing a book.
What’s the single best boundary an artist can set online?
Once you share something once, people will expect it again. Set expectations early, and stick to them.
💌 FOR THE ARTISTS WHO ARE STRUGGLING
If social media feels like the bane of someone’s existence, what’s the gentlest way back in?
What would you share if work, clout, money, and dopamine weren’t involved? Start there.
Can an artist opt out of “performing accessibility” and still have a meaningful presence?
Absolutely. Some artists enjoy translating their inner world online, and others communicate much more clearly through restraint or mystery. Accessibility is a choice, it’s not mandatory. A meaningful presence comes from intention, not from feeling like you have to constantly explain yourself. I’m much more interested in helping artists decide when to speak and when not to, rather than feeling pressured to always be available or explain themselves.
What would you say to someone who feels like they’re failing because they don’t want to play the game?
Make your own rules. Share what you’re comfortable sharing and stop measuring yourself against someone else’s version of success.
🪞 DOLLY, UNFILTERED
What’s something people assume about social media management that’s wildly wrong?
That it’s easy, cheap, superficial, or something an intern could do.
In reality, the people behind artists’ and brands’ social accounts are shaping public perception in real time. They’re making judgment calls about tone, timing, and risk every single day. It’s consequential work, and when it’s done well, you don’t notice it, which is probably why it’s so misunderstood. It’s serious work and should be treated that way.
What do you struggle with online when you’re being Dolly? You’ve also had some super viral moments- were those accidents or do you know when it’s coming?
Comparison. It’s brutal and unavoidable. It will age you! When I catch myself spiraling, I remind myself that not everything online is what it seems.
Virality is always part strategy, part accident. I know how to communicate ideas clearly online, but you never fully control what’s going to resonate. I’ve gone viral on TikTok for all kinds of things: interviewing people on the street, making observations about things I see, taking people on virtual tours of The Met, talking about fashion, and building my very own challah bread brand during covid. What all of those moments have taught me is how to sharpen my instincts and pay attention to patterns.
Posting what feels authentically me, like noticing details, translating culture, spontaneity, and inviting people into new spaces they might not otherwise enter has opened doors in ways I could never have planned. Sometimes that looks like being asked to do street interviews on Madison Ave on Met Gala Monday as a Vogue App contributor, for example. It’s clarified that helping people and brands tell richer, more human stories that audiences actually want to engage with is what I love doing.
What’s your dream version of a social platform that doesn’t exist yet?
Find My Friends on steroids. I want to know where everyone is, who they’re with, what they’re wearing, what they’re eating, what they’re thinking, and what they’re buying, all at once. Or something that cleans up my camera roll. Please!
🎉 THE SEND-OFF
Finish this sentence: “A good Instagram presence should make you feel…”
Empowered.
What’s one rule you wish everyone would immediately break?
That you have to post constantly to stay relevant. Rhythm and restraint are part of the voice. Sometimes not posting is the strategy.
What’s one thing you want artists to stop apologizing for online?
Changing their mind. Growth and evolution can look messy when it happens in real time. Trust yourself enough not to pre-emptively explain or soften every shift.
And finally — now that you’re unmasked — what do you want people to know about you? Besides that you’re an iconic NYC child with the style of Iris Apfel 😂
I’m deeply protective of people (of their work and their peace) and at my core, I’m a storyteller. Social media has always felt intuitive to me, something I grew up alongside, and I’ve seen firsthand how powerful it can be. My job isn’t to make things louder, it’s to make them truer. I care about collaboration, discretion, and helping artists, public figures, and brands show up online in ways that feel intentional, sustainable, and aligned with who they actually are, not who the internet wants them to be.
🔥 RAPID FIRE ROUND:
FAVORITE MEME OF ALL TIME
YOUTUBE VIDEO YOU HAVE REWATCHED THE MOST
The New York Times’ Diary of a Song video, “How Lil Nas X Took ‘Old Town Road’ From TikTok Meme to No. 1”
FAVORITE SOCIAL POST THAT SOMEONE PROBABLY DIDN’T INTEND TO BE FUNNY, BUT... IT WAS (for me, it’s when Barbra Streisand asked Melissa McCarthy if she was on Ozempic because she didn’t know how to DM, or when Cher would tweet like she was on ambien)
Lisa Barlow’s community management game is unmatched. From what I see/hear, she is always replying to people’s messages and comments. I’ve seen people screenshot her responses and reposting them online. My friend messages her all the time and she replies. It’s so funny to me.
LATEST INSPIRATION IMAGE YOU PULLED
Latest decor inspo:
But I often revisit Henry Muck’s mansion in Industry Season 3:
LATEST FASHION ITEM YOU SAVED BUT DIDN’T BUY
All things DVF. I’m always browsing and waiting for the right occasion. Her clothes fit so well. She knows how to dress women! I always have my eye on RIXO too.
And this Gucci fur bag in pink with the gold horsebit hardware. I need this!
LATEST ITEM YOU BOUGHT BUT DIDN’T SAVE (ie I had a demented Zara glitter tube top moment)
Boring, but I just did a huge haul from Gap and Banana Republic and I’m sad to share that I’m returning a lot of it. Why are pants that fit impossible to find…? Can someone plz help me?
FAVORITE REALITY TV VILLAIN
More beloved (in a twisted way) than villain, but Rob Mariano. His full mob-boss era on Survivor (Season 22) was unbelievable. He had his entire tribe wrapped around his finger. And watching him on The Traitors (Season 3) just confirmed it. He’s a master manipulator. Terrifyingly charismatic and extremely compelling.
TIK-TOK CREATOR YOU FEEL LIKE YOU KNOW BUT DON’T
Rachel Lovely. She’s a totally normal girl from Chicago talking about totally normal things, like her job at Google, having a baby, going back to work, etc., but she’s really funny in that you think your best friend is funny way. She talks straight to camera like you’re on FaceTime, just telling you about her day, her family, her job. It’s comforting, and she consistently makes me laugh.
And I’m also a Gabriella Karefa-Johnson stan. Her styling is perfect - maximalist effortless streetwear glam. She knows how to dress a larger body in a way that doesn’t feel like “plus-size fashion,” which I’m always looking for. Sometimes when I’m getting dressed, I genuinely think, “If I met GKJ today, would she approve?” She’s just cool.
FINISH THIS SENTENCE: IF DOLLY WERE PRESIDENT…
Universal healthcare for all!!!
Thank you Lena for giving me the platform to share the work we do together! I hope your subscribers enjoy reading this <3333
"If you’re making something creative, people want a place to see it. Thinking of social media as a portfolio, rather than a performance, can be a helpful framework." This is the best reframe ever that I rly needed to hear. And of course this quip, "Not everyone needs to comment on everything. Silence is only deafening if you’ve trained people to expect noise." Contemplative! I'm so glad you both shared this, fab read (and I, too, have gotten all financial knowledge from watching Industry)